Playing Hide and Seek With the Positives

For the past few months of my recovery, I work really hard to find the positives. Sometimes they are standing out, all in a row. Sometimes you have to search and search and search….to even find one.
The day of my daughter’s graduation was going to be tense enough. I avoid my in laws like the plague, and this was one of those times I’d have to see them. I wanted them to see how happy my family was, how much stronger we had become. What we showed them was the opposite.
I don’t and never will understand how life goes up up up to only crash back down. Everytime it gets a little harder to start the treck back up….
I’m so tired of being the positive checker for the entire family. Hey look guys, life is good….look at this and this and that…see??!!??
Now, I will show my bratty childish side:
my computer still will not work, which means I can’t work
I have to do a system restore. I worked solely as a photographer for 3 years. I have 11,513 photos to back up (in Lightroom alone)
I have to spend my long off weekend doing this
We didn’t have enough tickets for some people to come to graduation. Because of this, I begged everyone to tell me straight if they weren’t coming. Of course my mother never showed up. I could have given her ticket to my sister instead had I known.
My mother didn’t call, text or recongnize my birthday in any way.
All of my kids are out having fun living life and my husbands outlook on life has rubbed off on me.
At this point, I’m ready for the long weekend to be over and be back at work.
Which begins the stress of a messed up computer again.
Up till Friday afternoon, I was on top of the world, loving life. Mine was beautiful, remember?

Sorry for whining, this is the old me. I’m gonna sit here a minute before I stand up to shake all this shit off again. Soon, I will pump myself up to start walking up that positivity hill…….again

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