I have a unique situation.
I am an addict.
I’m the child of addicts.
I don’t speak to my mom because of her addiction.
But I fight to keep a bond with my daughter.
Some may call me a hypocrite.
And that’s alright for them to think.
My mom chose her drugs over me my entire life. But I didn’t realize it until I was in the same position, and could look back.
I drank for years and years, but the first night I lashed out at my daughter, was also the last.
To this day, I’ve never touched another drop. I’ve promised her, I will never lose that kind of control over myself.
Then the pills became a much larger issue. I had to drown myself out somehow.
This started my tornado period.
I fought like hell to get out. I fought to not be my mom. I put blinders on to everyone else’s worries and fears and focused on my own. I had to get well. I had to let my kids know they were worth me trying.
And I did it. I did what my mom never would.
I fully believe every person is given a chance to stop the ride and get off. God gives each of us that split second to decide. God gives each us a turn at the infamous fork in the road, of our lives.
My mom never attempted to better herself. My mom never let her kids know we were worth it. My mom, after knowing she was an addict, did not stop until I was using with her. Do I blame her for my issues? Somewhat
As a parent, it is my job to protect, warn and care for my kids. Not to hand them the things I struggle with myself.
My life with the added prompt word: Fork