Work-Less Random Thoughts

Today I have to work. I work very long hours, which is great, for me. Distractions can a beautiful thing if you’re an addict- well sometimes.
I won’t be able to just throw my ideas or thoughts whenever I want.
Thankfully, I work from home. Oh, I’ve been blessed people.
I have an exciting, nonstop, challenging job that allows me…, to make quick decisions. I actually can, and want to help. My job gives me the tools and power needed to make “wrongs” right, all day long.
So….my mind wonders, I want to do this, I need to do that. My husband always always tells me life is way too short, so you better be doing what you want. Sounds good, but time and myself are my enemies.
I’d love to do crafts, work on my photography, do yoga, write, but I can’t. I can’t do all those things when my house is a wreck. I’ve always lived messy. Now I wonder if I don’t subconsciously do that out of fear of boredom. Ugh….boredom to an addict is a horrible thing. I can’t sit still. I can’t sit and eat. I can’t watch a movie. I can move and listen to a television show. Really? You want me sit down and just well sit? Not me. Always gotta be moving. Even with my job. I’ll sit, I’ll stand. I’ll move my computer from the desk, to the couch, the dresser, nonstop movement. Fast, my doctor calls it.
Doctor- my doctor is moving out of state. After seeing him for over a year, I have to find a new one. Of course I haven’t take the time to research that. You can’t do research when you have a dirty house.
Another thing I really want to do is go to a counselor. I know that would help me. Ugh, maybe I’ll find one when my house is clean.
Welcome to my brain, spinning with back and forth thoughts of all the things that-if-I-could-just-do-this-my-life-would-be-better.
I have to go to work now, I hope you have a fabulous day people, no matter what day of your journey you are on.

2 thoughts on “Work-Less Random Thoughts

    1. Not at all! I’ve learned from my times at rehab we all have just something in common, other than addiction! I personally think it’s fascinating.
      I appreciate that, and will catch up on yours as well. Very new here but hoping to stick to it as well. Good luck with your battle!!


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